inbox. ( savrou )

[procedures]

I N B O X

ALAN VARREN ALVA 34 / MALE / KERNS-NORMAN TYPE 1 MORO #029 / MEDBAY PHYSICIAN / RANK NAUTA "Alva. Leave a message."

Comments

[deconstruct]

he carries around kittens in his sweaters, bullshit

[ he is a small infant and no one can tell andyr different ]

been 6 1/2 years and i'm still feeling like puking

it's ok, i'll live

[procedures]

And in a way, it's actually really endearing. Dare you to carry a cat all day, Andyr. See if you're man enough for it.

[ Sorry, Petra cat, for involving you. ]

On the bright side - don't get mad - we've got chewables for nausea now. Just in case you ever need them.

[deconstruct]

you're not tricking into touching that cat. i have a little octopus now, though, i'll do the octopus

[ well, while it's in a jar, at least. with some breathing holes or something. maybe this isn't a good idea. ]

chewables. really? what am i, five? are they the little cartoon character ones?

[procedures]

You're gonna carry an octopus on you? With what, a water tank?

That'd be interesting, actually. It's good for posterity.



Admit it, you like the cartoon ones.

[deconstruct]

i'd find a way. i love that octopus. i'd carry him with me everywhere if i could.



only the ones that look like dinosaurs. got those ones?

[procedures]

What if someone wanted to eat it, though? It's still seafood.

And I could check, but if not I'm sure I can grind a few up and remold them. Could do with some practice on small-scale sculpting by hand, anyway.



God, I sound old.

[deconstruct]

then i guess i'd be murdering someone



wow. yeah you do.

and now i really want you to sculpt me a dinosaur chewable. and cut the crusts off my sandwiches. and walk me to the bus stop in the morning. and read me bedtime stories before you tuck me in.




actually, no, this is getting weird. just the dino chewable.

[procedures]

Whatever happened to punching people in the dick first? It always escalates with you, what am I going to do with you.

I can do all that if you promise to listen to me when I tell you to do something. Like sleep early. Brush your hair back. That stuff.




A dino chewable's probably less weird.

[deconstruct]

that's a greeting, if someone's threatening to eat my children they get insta-death

so long as listen doesn't mean comply, sure




what, you don't want to brush my hair back and tell me bedtime stories?

[procedures]

Sometimes I almost forget how much of a wrecking ball you like to be.

Almost being the keyword.



What bedtime story would I even tell you? Have I read you The Little Mermaid? It's terrible.

[deconstruct]

it's my favorite pasttime. that's like forgetting my birthday, alva.



no? it sounds weird. i want something with dragons.

[procedures]

When IS your birthday? I don't think I've asked before.



It's going to look like a lizard, telling you now.

[deconstruct]

nov 9th, douche, how many times have you looked over my medical file?



whatever, i'll take what i can get just for the mental picture of you molding me kiddy chewables.

[procedures]

Just because I had access doesn't mean I memorized the whole thing. Birthdays have no place in a lab, sterile as that sounds.

[ He's sending you a picture of a pale yellow tablet that looks somewhat like a lizard. Somewhat. ]

[deconstruct]

yeah yeah, whatever. not like it matters to anyone in the houses anyway. you don't get a 'no torture today' pass for it or anything.

[ alva... what is this blob you have created... ]

that's the ugliest fucking dragon i've ever seen

[procedures]

Maybe in Hapsburg.

[ He's got a little nugget of optimism, where Gloriana is concerned. At least as far as torture goes - the Glories know to use mercy as a weapon, and well. ]

It's a goddamned effort, you could say thank you.

[deconstruct]

fucking seriously? you get birthdays in the glory hole?

[ well that's not fair. not that he'd really accept any charity coming from hapsburg at this point, but it's the principle of it, okay? ]

um i asked for a dragon, you gave me sort of a snake looking blob

i guess its the thought that counts, like when you hang up your 3 yr old's ugly ass macaroni art. thank you, alva, it's beautiful.

[procedures]

The good ones do, yeah. Sometimes. More time in the gardens, more sweets, books or toys they can keep in their rooms.

I know they let me keep pictures.

[ The words taste like acid; he's glad he doesn't have to say them. Gifts - like they're a good thing, and not some cruel incentive to keep them docile. ]

You don't like it, I can just give it to someone more appreciative. This took effort.

[deconstruct]

they ever take them away when you started acting up?

[ then again, alva rarely ever acts up, and andyr doesn't blame him. his work isn't as degrading as andyr's or miray's is, and he has a daughter at risk if he does. such is life when having people youre attached to. ]

no, you big baby, i want it. don't dare give it to someone else, that's mine.