procedures | inbox. ( savrou )

throw me out where, into space? you sure you can still lift me, gramps?

uh no im good, you can keep your doctor hands away from my back for another few months.

Your room? The bathroom? Medbay? I'm cranking my imagination up, work with me.

This is why Val is the favorite child, for the record.

i'm an adult, you can't throw me out of my own room/bathroom. and your medbay smells gross anyway.

whatever you just like him because he counts all your qtips out now

He also says nice things to me. It's all about being friendly and not punching people in the dick at first glance.

The medbay smells nice, by the way. Take that back.

that would've been a stomach punch if you weren't so goddamn tall, so really, it was your fault. besides, your dick still works well enough that you popped out another kid, so i dont know what youre complaining about

i can still smell antiseptic, its making me want to barf

We're bringing that up, are we? How short you are? Even the six year old is taller than you, Andyr.

[ gentle kill bill sirens in the bg over his baby son ok ]

It's keeping the sterile smell or making it smell like cologne. Which, terrible for people with asthma.

Is it that bad?

VAL IS 5'8", HE IS NOT FUCKING TALLER THAN ME, TAKE THAT BACK

[ HE WILL STRAIGHT UP FIGHT UR GIANT ASS, ALVARY. ]

yes

no

if no one else's said something, it's probably just me. medical smells just make me nauseous. [ has literally vomited on lab techs before, not actually on purpose. well, the aim was on purpose, but not the initial reflex. ]

[ Too late he's digging his heels in. ]

Val has the heart and spirit of a taller man. He's taller than you. I'm not taking it back.

[ He does mellow out, at that. ]

I know.

It took me a while to get used to it, too.

he carries around kittens in his sweaters, bullshit

[ he is a small infant and no one can tell andyr different ]

been 6 1/2 years and i'm still feeling like puking

it's ok, i'll live

And in a way, it's actually really endearing. Dare you to carry a cat all day, Andyr. See if you're man enough for it.

[ Sorry, Petra cat, for involving you. ]

On the bright side - don't get mad - we've got chewables for nausea now. Just in case you ever need them.

you're not tricking into touching that cat. i have a little octopus now, though, i'll do the octopus

[ well, while it's in a jar, at least. with some breathing holes or something. maybe this isn't a good idea. ]

chewables. really? what am i, five? are they the little cartoon character ones?

You're gonna carry an octopus on you? With what, a water tank?

That'd be interesting, actually. It's good for posterity.

Admit it, you like the cartoon ones.

i'd find a way. i love that octopus. i'd carry him with me everywhere if i could.

only the ones that look like dinosaurs. got those ones?

What if someone wanted to eat it, though? It's still seafood.

And I could check, but if not I'm sure I can grind a few up and remold them. Could do with some practice on small-scale sculpting by hand, anyway.

God, I sound old.

then i guess i'd be murdering someone

wow. yeah you do.

and now i really want you to sculpt me a dinosaur chewable. and cut the crusts off my sandwiches. and walk me to the bus stop in the morning. and read me bedtime stories before you tuck me in.

actually, no, this is getting weird. just the dino chewable.

Edited 2016-10-13 09:03 (UTC)

Whatever happened to punching people in the dick first? It always escalates with you, what am I going to do with you.

I can do all that if you promise to listen to me when I tell you to do something. Like sleep early. Brush your hair back. That stuff.

A dino chewable's probably less weird.

that's a greeting, if someone's threatening to eat my children they get insta-death

so long as listen doesn't mean comply, sure

what, you don't want to brush my hair back and tell me bedtime stories?

Sometimes I almost forget how much of a wrecking ball you like to be.

Almost being the keyword.

What bedtime story would I even tell you? Have I read you The Little Mermaid? It's terrible.

it's my favorite pasttime. that's like forgetting my birthday, alva.

no? it sounds weird. i want something with dragons.

When IS your birthday? I don't think I've asked before.

It's going to look like a lizard, telling you now.

nov 9th, douche, how many times have you looked over my medical file?

whatever, i'll take what i can get just for the mental picture of you molding me kiddy chewables.

Edited 2016-10-19 00:51 (UTC)

Just because I had access doesn't mean I memorized the whole thing. Birthdays have no place in a lab, sterile as that sounds.

[ He's sending you a picture of a pale yellow tablet that looks somewhat like a lizard. Somewhat. ]

yeah yeah, whatever. not like it matters to anyone in the houses anyway. you don't get a 'no torture today' pass for it or anything.

[ alva... what is this blob you have created... ]

that's the ugliest fucking dragon i've ever seen

Maybe in Hapsburg.

[ He's got a little nugget of optimism, where Gloriana is concerned. At least as far as torture goes - the Glories know to use mercy as a weapon, and well. ]

It's a goddamned effort, you could say thank you.

fucking seriously? you get birthdays in the glory hole?

[ well that's not fair. not that he'd really accept any charity coming from hapsburg at this point, but it's the principle of it, okay? ]

um i asked for a dragon, you gave me sort of a snake looking blob

i guess its the thought that counts, like when you hang up your 3 yr old's ugly ass macaroni art. thank you, alva, it's beautiful.

Edited 2016-10-20 06:58 (UTC)

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