inbox. ( savrou )

[procedures]

I N B O X

ALAN VARREN ALVA 34 / MALE / KERNS-NORMAN TYPE 1 MORO #029 / MEDBAY PHYSICIAN / RANK NAUTA "Alva. Leave a message."

Comments

during bug alien party on ocean island land

[deconstruct]

have you tried these muffins

oh my god

did they scrub your beard, do you smell like flowers now

i didnt take their bling but maybe i should have, we could sell that shit

these muffins though, ive had like twelve

where are you, im bringing you muffins

pretend he's only seeing these now

[procedures]

Andyr, what the hell were you on?

lmfao npnp

[deconstruct]

a year worth of alien compulsion drugs

those muffins were seriously good though

[procedures]

Has anyone mentioned to you the freedom that comes with being disconnected from your phone?

I'm kidding. Mostly.

How many did you take, exactly? Could note it down for future reference.

[deconstruct]

yeah it was called imprisonment and it sucked ass.

uh drugs or muffins? drugs - i don't know, i didn't actually realize i was taking them until someone said surprise, you just lost a year. muffins - honestly, about the same answer.

[procedures]

Don't remind me about the year jump. This must be how the other KNs feel when they're on the speed-aging track.

You're feeling better now, though? How are the ports feeling?

[deconstruct]

one year older, alva. are your knees giving out yet? want me to find you a walker?

yeah, feeling better. ports back to just mildly annoying, mostly. still, let's not do that again.

[procedures]

Don't make me throw you out on your ass. I can still do that.

We can do a quick wipe-down if you want. I need to re-up on the gel, too, keep a batch fresh.

[deconstruct]

throw me out where, into space? you sure you can still lift me, gramps?

uh no im good, you can keep your doctor hands away from my back for another few months.

[procedures]

Your room? The bathroom? Medbay? I'm cranking my imagination up, work with me.

This is why Val is the favorite child, for the record.

[deconstruct]

i'm an adult, you can't throw me out of my own room/bathroom. and your medbay smells gross anyway.

whatever you just like him because he counts all your qtips out now

[procedures]

He also says nice things to me. It's all about being friendly and not punching people in the dick at first glance.

The medbay smells nice, by the way. Take that back.

[deconstruct]

that would've been a stomach punch if you weren't so goddamn tall, so really, it was your fault. besides, your dick still works well enough that you popped out another kid, so i dont know what youre complaining about

i can still smell antiseptic, its making me want to barf

[procedures]

We're bringing that up, are we? How short you are? Even the six year old is taller than you, Andyr.

[ gentle kill bill sirens in the bg over his baby son ok ]

It's keeping the sterile smell or making it smell like cologne. Which, terrible for people with asthma.

Is it that bad?

[deconstruct]

VAL IS 5'8", HE IS NOT FUCKING TALLER THAN ME, TAKE THAT BACK

[ HE WILL STRAIGHT UP FIGHT UR GIANT ASS, ALVARY. ]

yes

no

if no one else's said something, it's probably just me. medical smells just make me nauseous. [ has literally vomited on lab techs before, not actually on purpose. well, the aim was on purpose, but not the initial reflex. ]

[procedures]

[ Too late he's digging his heels in. ]

Val has the heart and spirit of a taller man. He's taller than you. I'm not taking it back.

[ He does mellow out, at that. ]

I know.

It took me a while to get used to it, too.

[deconstruct]

he carries around kittens in his sweaters, bullshit

[ he is a small infant and no one can tell andyr different ]

been 6 1/2 years and i'm still feeling like puking

it's ok, i'll live

[procedures]

And in a way, it's actually really endearing. Dare you to carry a cat all day, Andyr. See if you're man enough for it.

[ Sorry, Petra cat, for involving you. ]

On the bright side - don't get mad - we've got chewables for nausea now. Just in case you ever need them.

[deconstruct]

you're not tricking into touching that cat. i have a little octopus now, though, i'll do the octopus

[ well, while it's in a jar, at least. with some breathing holes or something. maybe this isn't a good idea. ]

chewables. really? what am i, five? are they the little cartoon character ones?

[procedures]

You're gonna carry an octopus on you? With what, a water tank?

That'd be interesting, actually. It's good for posterity.



Admit it, you like the cartoon ones.

[deconstruct]

i'd find a way. i love that octopus. i'd carry him with me everywhere if i could.



only the ones that look like dinosaurs. got those ones?

[procedures]

What if someone wanted to eat it, though? It's still seafood.

And I could check, but if not I'm sure I can grind a few up and remold them. Could do with some practice on small-scale sculpting by hand, anyway.



God, I sound old.

[deconstruct]

then i guess i'd be murdering someone



wow. yeah you do.

and now i really want you to sculpt me a dinosaur chewable. and cut the crusts off my sandwiches. and walk me to the bus stop in the morning. and read me bedtime stories before you tuck me in.




actually, no, this is getting weird. just the dino chewable.

[procedures]

Whatever happened to punching people in the dick first? It always escalates with you, what am I going to do with you.

I can do all that if you promise to listen to me when I tell you to do something. Like sleep early. Brush your hair back. That stuff.




A dino chewable's probably less weird.

[deconstruct]

that's a greeting, if someone's threatening to eat my children they get insta-death

so long as listen doesn't mean comply, sure




what, you don't want to brush my hair back and tell me bedtime stories?